The children we are guiding watch us closely. They take in what we say, how we say it, what we do, how we do it, the attitude, the intention. All of it is being taken in and our challenge is to be aware of what messages we are sending – both verbal and nonverbal.
The hardest part of guiding children is not controlling the children, it is controlling yourself.
I learned this when I was in my early 20s and had the idea to take my cute little 4-year-old niece to the National Zoo for the day.
We caught the metro into town and as we walked side by side from the metro toward the zoo, her foot caught on a crack in the sidewalk and BOOM! She fell. Face first. Ended up nose-to-concrete.
A thousand panicked thoughts entered my mind – Oh no! I broke the baby!!! I just borrowed her from her mother for the first time and now I broke her! Do I have any bandages with me? Where is the nearest hospital? Should I call an ambulance or just scoop her up and wave down a cab? (This was before cell phones and Ubers). Should I wave down the cab first? It might be hard to wave down a cab while carrying her!
I picked her up, set her on her feet, dusted her off, and asked her “are you alright, Sweetie?”
She looked up first to the left, then to the right and finally straight at me.
In those few seconds I realized that she was going to be taking her cues from how I reacted. If I started whooping and gushing with dismay, she could easily go into full cry-fest mode. And our day would start with drama in the street.
Not a great beginning. It would be hard to recover. I needed to set a different tone. In my mind I heard my mother’s voice say, “Fix your face!” So, I smiled. And said in a cheerful voice
“you’re alright!”. Then something wonderful happened. My niece looked at me and smiled back. Then she put her hand in mine, and we continued down the street, and had a lovely day at the zoo.
It is amazing how much our precious ones pick up from us. Whether you are a parent, a family member, a teacher, a youth group leader, or whether you have another title – the young ones you guide are watching you closely. Your impact and influence can stretch far into the future just from what they learn watching you.
Remember how important you are! Don’t just do what you feel like doing. Do what you want our next generation to see. Do what you want our next generation to do. Let your actions be a demonstration of what you want our next generation to know.
You don’t have to be perfect; no one is. Just do your best, be your best, and good things will happen in the world because of you.
Tonda T. Bean (MBA, MSOD) is a former Girl Scout Leader and the mother of two young adults. Her company, Wisdom In Minutes, offers strategic parenting, and career exploration for teens in preparation for their launch into independent adulthood. Visit her site at Wisdominminutes.com.
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